thankful thursday - rules??

When my sweet hubby and I were first married, before we had children, we had many opinions (most of them incorrect!) about raising children. For example, I was convinced that no child of mine would ever be plopped down in front of the tv so I could get something done. That lasted until our first child was about a month old and I discovered I could brush my teeth and get dressed before my hubby came home from work if I positioned our daughter (who was VERY colicky and awake most of the day) so she could "watch" Sesame Street. The shapes and colors of the characters and sing-songy dialog seemed to calm her - or at least distract her - for a few minutes.

We eventually learned to relax and trust our instincts while following the "rules." Rules like bedtime is bedtime, no snacks if you didn't eat your meal, no running in the house, keep your hands and other body parts off the windows, and we don't have cookies or candy before lunch.  It's important for children to have routine and to know what the boundaries are. I firmly believed that children are happier when the "rules" are consistent.

Then I became a grandma.

And the "rules" changed. Dramatically. Almost over night.

At grandma's house, bedtime is more like a starting point or suggestion. Dessert and snacks are always an option if you ate at least some of your meal. Running in the house doesn't bother me as much as it used to. And not only do I not mind fingerprints (and other body-prints ;-)) on my windows, I have each of them make a handprint up high on the window that remains pristine for several weeks after they leave! M&M's or a cookie before breakfast is good clean fun. As is having ice cream for breakfast.

Yep. I became my mother and my mother-in-law. They "spoiled" our children in good ways. Spending time with them. Bending the rules. Eating ice cream for breakfast one day a year isn't going to harm anyone but is a memory kids never forget. Going to their houses was always a treat for our kids, something they looked forward to. I am thankful for the wisdom my mother and mother-in-law shared on being a grandparent and on rules.

And just to be clear, some rules never change or go out of style. Rules like speak respectfully to each other, ask permission before you use something that belongs to someone else, no means no, don't run on the kool-deck, buckle up in the car. They are rules for safety or being respectful to others. And I still firmly believe that children are happier when the rules are consistent. But they also learn that rules may be different in different places (like grandma's house) or situations (like vacation).

I think our sweethearts make lots of memories when they are at our house. I hope they will one day share those memories with their children.  And laugh as hard as their parents do when they share their grandparent memories!

We love our sweethearts!